Sam's Journal
by WayIntoTheBlue
Summary: The story is basically pages from Sam's journal. It started from the morning after Sam and Dean's fight and Dean went missing. John Winchester is a good father. (ambiguous timeline) Written completely from Sam's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Saturday

10:00 am

Today is Saturday - at least I don't have to go to school. Yeah - you are right - its me, and I don't want to go to school - how hard is it to believe? Of course I don't like it here. You know there is that boy in my class - somehow he makes me uncomfortable - don't know why. What do you think? Should I talk to Dean? I think about that sometimes - but then again - worried Dean is the last thing I want now. I will deal with it - just need some time to think alone. By the way, where is my brother? I haven't seen him since morning.

Last night we had an argument - a rough one - that ended with Dean giving me a silent treatment (which is practically my signature move)! I hate it when he does that. I know that I do that all the time - but that's me... You know, not Dean. When he gets silent instead of throwing some meaningless insults, I immediately start to panic (of course I don't let him know that). All I want to do is to pull him, push him, hit him - anything that works, to make him angry, but not hurt... Never hurt. Dean should not be hurt - never ever. Yeah we can fight - get into a nasty fight - but anger is OK - pain is not. And the worst part of Dean being hurt is that, he would never let me be the there for him. He would suffer all alone, would wrap his tears with his laughter.

Great - now I am almost sobbing. Tell me one thing, why did I think that fighting with my brother would be a good idea last night? I couldn't even remember the issue we were fighting over. All I can remember the pained look on those green eyes. God! What had gotten into me! I tried to call him a few minutes ago. His phone was on his empty bed. That is new. He never did that before. Shouldn't I worry now? I think, I should stop writing. Not in mood really.

12:50pm

OK, now I am totally freaking out. Dean took the car as I expected, but he did not take his gun. So I thought he might have gone to some bar or pub. But then again, its too late for him to be there still. I know I should respect his privacy, and all. But I need to check his bag. I need to know what else he took, so that I can guess where he might have gone. He took The Photograph - the one where he was sitting beside mom, with a tiny me in his arms... That photograph was not in his bag. Dean took that but did not take his gun! Dean, where are you? I am stuck... How do I find him? Should I call Dad? Is this that kind of emergency, when I am allowed to call him? Truly speaking, I have no idea. That man is totally beyond my understanding. I think I should try a bit more by myself. But I will wait till evening, after that I am calling him. He is Dad after all. Dean always says, Dad is a superhero. Dad must be able to find him. I am actually scared of him you know. He is not like the father you want to run to when you hurt your knee! But somehow I also know, if there is something really evil reachIng out for us, he will not even blink before giving his life to save us. Dad is scary like hell, but he is the shield that will protect you till the end. I don't have any memory of my mother. Dean was the only mom I ever knew. I know Dean is only four years older than me. But sometimes its so easy to forget that. Anyways I am hitting the road now. Will be back later. Hopefully with Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday

4:00 am

Dad came home last night. Yes, he left the hunt he was on, and came here - can you imagine that?

Let me start from where I left yesterday. I went out looking for Dean as I've already told you. But it was all in vain. I was exhausted, hopeless. When I returned to the motel, the empty room was there to mock me. There was that familiar knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away until I find those green eyes looking at me...

I felt sick when I called dad. I didn't know what to expect from him. But what I did not expect was him trying to calm me down.

"Sam - take a deep breath, and tell me - exactly what happened. Boy, don't panic - I assure you, nothing will happen to Dean. Just calm down, and tell me what happened. "

Wow, that was totally unexpected. But for the first time in my life I felt like he is really with me. I tried my best to tell him everything - at least as well as I could.

" Don't worry my son. I am coming as soon as I can. And we will find Dean - don't you doubt that even for a moment. Your brother is strong, he will be okay. You better be ready to accompany me, Ok?"

I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me through a phone call. There was something else that I did not tell him. Because I was (still am) not sure whether this is the right time to bring that up. Actually when I was looking for Dean in that local pub, I started to feel something odd. I was talking to the cute ( totally Dean's type - that busty blond, you know) bar tender, I suddenly felt a sharp pain. As if someone was putting a knife into my brain. I was about to fall on the floor from the intensity of that, but then it stopped, and there was a pin prick like sensation, and I could almost hear Dean's voice inside my head "Sammy please"...

I was so shocked that I could not react. But then there was nothing. I still don't know whether it happened or all of it was my imagination. I did not say anything about it. Dad came a few hours later - he started with his own method. I heard him talking to Bobby earlier about some tracking spell. Dad looked worried. I think Bobby is also coming here to help. They were talking about something serious - but Dad's voice was vety hushed - I tried hard, but couldn't make out anything. But from the tone of his last conversation I can say that they found some lead. After ending the call dad looked at me - in a way that I couldn't interpret. I thought he wanted to say something, but he didn't. I had a feeling that Dad knows something - there is something that I should know.

Right now, Dad and Bobby (oh Bobby came) have gone to that location they got from the tracking spell. I am still waiting, I know Dean will be back - within a few hours.

It hit me again. Now I am sure that the previous headache was not my illusion. This time Dean's voice was much clearer than before -

" I came back Sammy - I came back! "

his voice was so tired. I think in some weird way I am hearing Dean's thought - even if he is miles away - and oddly enough I am not as surprised/shocked as I should be. I need to be sure though. I am not going to tell anybody anything, but once I get Dean back I have to verify my theory.

But for now I should focus on getting him back. Dean is coming - suddenly I can feel the lump in my throat. I was so stupid to fight with him. All I need now is my stupidbrother back. I need him so much. The last few hours were like a thousand deaths to me Dean. Please please don't ever do this to me.

8:56 am

It was a Djinn. Will talk later. Dean is in one piece - thank God for that. But he needs tending. A bit busy now. Will fill you with the detail later. For now - DEAN IS BACK. Its enough.


End file.
